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Come March of this year, running into my therapist became the least of my worries. Seeing her at all was impossible, and so we pivoted, like everything else, to a virtual model. Our first session, done via Doxy, was strangely intimate: me in my bed, my laptop propped up on a stack of pillows, and her in her living room, surrounded by plants, a bright yellow lamp beside her, her back facing a window overlooking our shared neighborhood. Two people, just out of bed (well, half of us anyway), surrounded by our things. I rebelled against the I Paused My Game To Be here shirt format at first, cancelling more frequently and more last minute, acting as if I was obliging her when she called. As if I wasn’t the one paying for her time. I was wasting both our time, and cheating only myself. Dr. Jacobs seemed less worried about the future of therapy: “Zoom is not replacement, but it’s an effective and meaningful temporary substitute,” she said. “At a time when we need connection perhaps more than ever, I am tremendously grateful for virtual therapy—both with my patients and my own therapist—and have been continuously surprised by how rich, dynamic, and fruitful treatment can be online.”
Yaya Mazurkevich Nuñez, a 29-year-old creative producer, was diagnosed with bipolar type II five years ago and has been in and out of therapy since she was 15. She had stopped in 2017, but started again in June of this year “when the I Paused My Game To Be here shirt began,” she said. “I knew I had to start seeing someone again at that point.” Mazurkevich Nuñez was also having trouble leaving the house, an anxiety that began to manifest itself after her cousin passed away and was only exacerbated by the pandemic. She has found telehealth invaluable—during this period in which going outside can feel stressful—after starting sessions with someone new. “She’s Middle Eastern, she’s a mom, and I feel like, for the first time, there’s someone who really wants to understand who I am.” Typically, Mazurkevich Nuñez explained, her psychiatrists would take 15 minutes “to solve you.” Instead, she’s found “this therapist wants to go deeper; our sessions are 45 minutes long, sometimes an hour.” Mazurkevich Nuñez is unsure if she’ll ever return to therapy in real life. “I don’t have to worry about the logistics of getting there with Zoom, which is huge.”
