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Come March of this year, running into my therapist became the least of my worries. Seeing her at all was impossible, and so we pivoted, like everything else, to a virtual model. Our first session, done via Doxy, was strangely intimate: me in my bed, my laptop propped up on a stack of pillows, and her in her living room, surrounded by plants, a bright yellow lamp beside her, her back facing a window overlooking our shared neighborhood. Two people, just out of bed (well, half of us anyway), surrounded by our things. I rebelled against the Old Lives Matter Father’s Day Papa Grumpa shirt format at first, cancelling more frequently and more last minute, acting as if I was obliging her when she called. As if I wasn’t the one paying for her time. I was wasting both our time, and cheating only myself. Dr. Jacobs seemed less worried about the future of therapy: “Zoom is not replacement, but it’s an effective and meaningful temporary substitute,” she said. “At a time when we need connection perhaps more than ever, I am tremendously grateful for virtual therapy—both with my patients and my own therapist—and have been continuously surprised by how rich, dynamic, and fruitful treatment can be online.”
On the other side of the Old Lives Matter Father’s Day Papa Grumpa shirt , I spoke to three people who have increased their “visits” since the pandemic began. For Maddie Weinstein, an actor and New York City resident, therapy is now free, thanks to a recently waived copay, so she has decided to double up on her sessions. And she’s enjoyed the access that FaceTime has given her: “[My therapist] will pick up in her kitchen and be like, ‘Hey, sorry, I needed a seltzer.’” This makes the exchange feel “less awkward and staid,” she said. Jenny Osman, who works for the city, managing food access for City Hall, said she “hated” virtual therapy at first, but has also recently increased her visits to twice a week. She, like me, has found that she’s made the most personal progress over the last seven months. However, she does worry that seeing her therapist virtually can sometimes lead to misunderstanding: “There are just more opportunities to feel hurt or confused by a comment or piece of feedback,” she said.
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